


Fucked up Feanorians

by Loptr_GodOfFire



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anal Sex, Asphyxiation, First Kinslaying (Tolkien), First Kiss, Incest, M/M, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:39:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loptr_GodOfFire/pseuds/Loptr_GodOfFire
Summary: All of them experience the aftermath of the first kinslaying differently.Curufin just wants to forget but Celegorm wants to help him cope.Meanwhile Celebrimbor is having too many emotions at once.





	Fucked up Feanorians

The cold ocean breeze was refreshing and Celegorm took several deep breaths. Finally he managed to get the stench of blood and gore out of his nose. Still the events of the last hours clung to him. The slaying of their own kin had been gruesome and their blood was covering his clothing.

He knew that what they had done could not be washed away by wind or water. The traces of their crime did not only cling to Celegorm´s clothes but also his very soul. Though he had slain hundreds of animals on the hunt this was something entirely different.

Or was it?

Maybe one could compare the Teleri to a wolf that had been defending its´ territory. Yes, Celegorm thought, that seemed like a fitting comparison and yet he kept on feeling just as horrible. After all wolfs only fought to protect what they cared about.

Just like his father did too.

Could it be that him and his brother had done something as bad as Morgoth himself? They had not only stolen the Teleris´ precious boats but also murdered hundreds of them in cold blood.

Celegrom shook his head trying to get rid of such thoughts. They would not help him get over what they had done anyways.

Instead he decided to go back inside. His brothers were probably tormenting themselves with the same kind of thoughts so distracting them would benefit everyone. Celegrom took one last breath and went to see who he could find.

The first one the hunter came across was Curufin. His younger brother was sitting on a bench holding a sobbing Celebrimbor in his arms. The sight of his miserable brother and nephew tugged at Celegrom´s heart.

“Hey,” he said softly as he knelt down in front of the two,” you don´t need to cry Tyelpe, the victory is ours.”

Celebrimbor freed himself from his fathers´ arms to glare at the blond hunter. “We did not win,” his voice was filled with more bitterness than Celegrom had deemed possible for his age,” we murdered them.”

“I already told you this was necessary and that we had tried to negotiate with them beforehand,” Curufin replied, a frown on his face. He sounded so much like their father.

Celegorm couldn´t help but feel pity for his nephew though, a child like him should not have to witness such cruelty. Without wasting another second he pulled Celebrimbor into his own arms and held him there.

“I know it seems harsh but we really offered them a chance to solve this peacefully. Also the Valar would have tried to stop us if we had taken the time to build our own ships.”

Celebrimbor said nothing and simply buried his face in Celegroms´ tunic. Curufin shot his brother a thankful glance.

They stayed like this for a while, quiet, just basking in the soothing presence of one another. Eventually Celebrimbor´s tears stopped and Celegrom let him go with a smile. 

“You should go and wash yourself, don´t you think?” His nephew nodded and hurried to get to his cabin.

Once he was gone Curufin let out a sigh though it was almost inaudible. Celegorm looked at him in concern and suddenly his brothers´ exhaustion was painfully obvious. The hunter took a seat next to him waiting for him to speak. They had done this ever since Curufin had been young; just sitting together waiting until he felt ready to open up.

“Sometimes I really don´t know how to handle him. His mother was always the one who knew what to do in situations like these,” Curufin said after a while.

Celegrom chuckled:” No need to worry, my sweet brother, after all Maitimo and Makalaure are great with children and even I seem to be able to help. And keep in mind that he will be of age soon, so a bit of dealing with problems by himself won´t hurt him.”

Curufin did not seem convinced but he nodded. “I guess you´re right,” he yawned and let himself slump against the others´ shoulder. Celegorm immediately wrapped an arm around him. If he could he would protect all of his family members from the consequences of their oath but he knew that especially Curufin would not appreciate that in the slightest.

“You know I am,” Celegrom mumbled.

Both of them went silent again. The hunter lost in his memories of happier times in Valinor while Curufin seemed to have fallen asleep. Celegorm did not attempt to wake him up, in fact he had always like his brother best in this state; no sarcastic comments, no annoying mockery and most importantly he let down his walls and allowed himself to be held and cared for. 

 

“Atar,” Celegorm and Curufin were woken up by Celebrimbor´s surprised voice.

Curufin jumped to his feet and threw a murderous glance at his brother. Being seen as sweet and vulnerable by his child was the last thing he wanted. Especially in times like this he did everything in his power to be someone strong for Celebrimbor to rely on; someone who didn´t need support himself.

“Is something the matter,” Curufin inquired.

The young elf shook his head: “Nay, I merely wanted to ask if you wanted to use the washroom now since I am done.”

“Thank you,” his father had a rare smile on his face,” I will use this chance then and maybe we can have a meal after that.”

Celebrimbor´s face lit up and he agreed with enthusiasm. It was so good to see him happy again.

The washing room was on the lowest deck of the ship and it only was only supplied with cold seawater.

Curufin removed his tunic and cloak with a disgusted grunt. He would have to throw these out later as Telerin blood was everywhere, even mixed with his own in some spots.

Next he moved to get rid of his boots but when he bowed down the door swung open. With a snarl Curufin turned around, ready to kill whoever disrespected his privacy like that.

Celegorm laughed and effortlessly caught his brothers´ hand with his dagger mid-air. “Easy Atarinkë, I only wanted to wash myself as well.”

Curufin wrest his arm free from the others´ grip and threatened:” Next time you creep up on me like that that pretty face of yours will get damaged. Also I told you not to use that name!”

Still grinning Celegorm kicked the door shut and started to undress too. “Curufinwë, my dear, you have threatened me like that one too many times, I am not afraid of that anymore.”

With a scowl the younger elf grabbed Celegorm´s necklace and pushed him up against the door. “You shouldn´t call me that one either!”

The hunter raised an eyebrow:” You only said that I can´t use it when we are –.” He was cut off by Curufin kissing him longingly. Without hesitating for even a second Celegorm pulled him closer, letting his hands roam over the others´ naked form.

Curufin too was not in the mood to take it slow and shoved his hands right into the front of Celegorm´s pants. Taken aback by this the hunters´ hips jerked forward along with a moan.

“Wait,” he gasped, his eyes full of concern,” you seriously want to use this as a coping method now?!”

Curufin abruptly stopped his hands´ movement. The tiny line between his eyebrows made it obvious that he was displeased still he waited for his brother to continue.

“I know that sex, forgetting everything just for a moment, sounds like a tempting idea but it won´t help you.”

“Do you really think so? Since when have you ever been against intimacy in any situation? Stop trying to do ´what´s right’, that never worked for us anyways.”

Celegorm took a deep trembling breath, while he has talking Curufin had stared touching him again and the hunter could now feel himself getting hard under his clever ministrations. “Oh screw this, you speak the truth as usual,” he felt bad for giving in so easily but his brother just knew him too well.

“That´s all I needed to hear,” with that Curufin dropped to his knees and pulled his brothers´ pants along. “Just try to keep quiet,” the blacksmiths rough fingers lazily danced over the tip of Celegorm´s arousal,” the ship has thin walls and it´s packed with our people, remember?”

Already troubled with attempting to obey the blond could only nod. This brought a wicked smirk to Curufin´s face and he decided to vex his brother further by adding:” I´ll stop as soon as you start getting too noisy,” then he immediately closed his lips around the hard member in front of him.

In his mind Celegorm was praying to all the Valar that they may grant him the ability to keep silent. Still every now and then a small moan escaped his lips since Curufin knew exactly how to get him worked up plus his younger brother was an asshole who revelled in seeing him struggle for control. This became even more obvious when he pressed a knuckle against Celegorm´s perineum while taking him further down his throat.

The hunter overwhelmed by his instincts snapped his hips forward and failed to hold back a choked whine. “You bastard,” Celegorm´s trembling voice was muffled through the hand that he had pressed against his lips to stop his moans.

Curufin pulled off of him and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, his eyes fixed on the other gleaming in triumph. “Well dear brother since you seem to be unable to follow my command I´d say it is time that you bring me some pleasure instead.”

At that Celegorm grinned and removed his pants in an instant before joining his brother on the floor. Immediately his hands were on the blacksmith once again though now much more impatient and rough.

The younger elf keened and pushed his body against Celegorm´s as the latter left a harsh scratch on his back.

“C´mon tell me what I should do to you.”

But Curufin only kissed him wantonly and with such aggression that it left Celegorm´s lip bleeding slightly. “Don´t make me say it Tyelko,” he murmured between breaths.

The blond pulled away from him frowning at the taste of copper in his mouth. But in the blink of an eye his expression turned into something wild and feral. Valar, it had been a long time since he had been with someone this animalistic.

“Have it your way then, Curvo.”

Not caring in the slightest for his brothers´ comfort Celegorm pushed him onto his back. One hand was wrapped around Curufin´s slender neck, pinning him there. As the hunter tightened his grip without a warning the other gasped his eyes going wide but instead of resisting Curufin opened his legs in submission.

Seeing his brother like this sent a thrill through Celegorm´s body and he felt a few dribbles of excitement leave his manhood. “You´re fine without too much preparation, right,” he asked as his impatience got the best of him.

Curufin didn´t answer, instead the coated two of his fingers in saliva and shoved them past his rim without hesitation. After only a few careless trusts he pulled them back out and growled: “Get on with it or I´ll rip our balls off.”

“Curvo-“

“Now, Tyelkormo,” the blacksmiths hand loudly slapped Celegorm´s arse. For a second the blond still considered resisting but damn how tempting Curufin looked at that moment and how much he was aching to finally be inside him. Since he had never been good at fighting his urges Celegorm gave in and pushed into his brother with a satisfied groan.

Curufin however barely made a sound he rather squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers digging painfully into the hunter´s shoulders.

To relieve some of his brothers obvious pain Celegorm stilled and started kissing his collarbone. “Breath Curvo, it´ll be better in just a moment.”

“Shut up and move already,” the other demanded through clenched teeth. To emphasize his words he rolled his hips upwards while slightly tightening around the intrusion.

Suddenly Celegorm´s hand was back on his throat, the grip way sharper than before, he was angry. “Stop that, I don´t want to hurt you.” But despite his words his body proved stronger than his mind once again. He started moving in slow trusts and before long both of them sighed in bliss.

But soon Curufin began squirming and shifting beneath him, a strangled ´more´ leaving his lips.

This time Celegorm didn´t even attempt to withhold his passion. He lost even the last trace of gentleness and restraint; fucking into his brother with all the strength he possessed.

Both elves were panting and moaning loudly in no time, neither of them caring about the threat of being heard.

When Celegorm knew he wouldn´t be able to last long any more he made sure to aim each stroke just right so Curufin would scream and beg.

One particularly harsh trust finally sent the younger one over the edge and tore a chocked cry from his throat. This absolutely delightful sound, combined with the exquisite squeeze of Curufin´s insides gave Celegorm no other choice but to come as well.

“Now brother will you tell me what all that was about?”

Curufin who still had his lean limbs wrapped around his brother enjoying the closeness, made an irritated sound.

“Curvo, seriously, I know you appreciate a little pain in bed but that was not ´a little´.”

Unwilling to deal with Celegorm´s questions the other pushed him off though not without letting out a wince when his brothers´ soft member slid out of him. This only served to make the blond even more worried. 

“I hurt you,” Celegorm realized, reaching out for his brother but his hand was slapped aside. “Let me help!”

Still visibly in pain Curufin got to his feet and said:” You are so dense sometimes brother. This was what I wanted you already have helped me.”

“You have got to be joking,” Celegorm hurried to stand up too,” do not tell me you made me hurt you like this on purpose.”

“Yes I did,” the younger elf´s voice was too calm,” not to punish myself or anything stupid like that. I just figured the added pain would make it even more distracting.”

Celegorm wasn´t exactly convinced but he knew there was no arguing with his brother on things like this so all he replied was:” At least warn me next time so I know what I´m in for, will you?”

The other shrugged and stared washing himself. “Fine, if that what makes you stop complaining.”

Celegorm too dipped his hands into the icy water and ran it over his torso. “Yes, because I would never want to make you suffer by accident,” he made eye contact with his brother before adding,” I love you, remember?”

“Alright, alright,” Curufin smiled and placed a soft kiss on the hunters´ lips,” sorry about your lip by the way.”

Chuckling Celegorm returned the gesture just as gently and added:” I´m sure I´ll survive.”

 

After that they quickly finished washing themselves and put on some clean clothes. Then Celegorm helped his younger brother to braid his long hair all while humming lightly. It seemed that Curufin had been right again; he did feel somewhat better. 

After the blacksmith finished the last braid he sighed:” We have taken quite a long time, I bet my son has already been waiting for us.”

It turned out that Curufin had been correct on this too, because Celebrimbor stood in the hallway when they exited the room. The young elf was fidgeting nervously and the brothers exchanged a worried glance. How long had he been standing there?

“It wasn´t necessary to wait for me, you know.”

“But Atar you said that we would eat together,” Celebrimbor mumbled even more insecure now,” I didn´t wait too long anyways.”

“That´s good then,” Celegorm smiled and wrapped an arm around his nephew,” let´s go. I am starving.”

Since his son grinned back as usual and started chatting with the other right away Curufin was able to calm his nerves. After all Celebrimbor would be acting much different if he had actually heard anything. But still Curufin remained worried; if they kept challenging their luck like that it was only a matter of time before they got discovered. He knew that if that happened his son would probably hate him until the end of time since their relationship was already fragile and the boy loved his mother too dearly to forgive anyone for cheating on her.

They ate with their father and Maglor in the captains´ cabin. The other brothers had ended up on different ships so it would only be the five of them. 

“How nice of you to finally join us,” Fëanor said handing Curufin a basket with bread as he had sat down.

He thanked him and added:” It was my fault I took too long washing, though Tyelko was not being exactly helpful either.”

“Son, how often have I told you to stop vexing your brother. You are not an elfling anymore Tyelkormo.”

“I am aware of that,” the blond laughed,” I just thought a little fun couldn´t hurt after a day like this.”

Maglor who had been awfully quiet until now stared at his younger sibling in disbelieve. “How can you speak so lightly of the crime we committed? It has only been an hour and you are already laughing! Did all the years of hunting make you this dull!?” His blue eyes were hard and cold, a completely foreign look on his face.

Immediately Celegorm´s laughter stopped and he raised an eyebrow instead. “Calm down Macalaurë, I meant no harm.”

This only infuriated the musician further and his voice trembled when he spoke again: “For meaning no harm you murdered too many people today. Does that even mean anything to you?” Celegorm was about to reply but Maglor turned to Fëanor and continued:” Father this was not what I wanted when I swore to support your cause. I was ready to be exiled and endure trouble. But never did I want to end up as a slayer of our own kin!”

“All of you swore the oath out of your own free will and it clearly stated that we would have war with anyone who withheld the Silmaril from us,” even though his voice remained indifferent they all knew that Fëanor was about to snap.

“I am aware of that,” Maglor said his voice overflowing with shame and sadness,” yet killing the Teleri was wrong; we did not need their boats and we both know that.” There, Maglor had finally said aloud what all of them had been thinking.

For a moment it was dead silent and Celebrimbor fearfully clutched his uncles´ hand underneath the table. 

Fëanor´s eyes were blazing with fire and Maglor seemed to shrink under his gaze. “I cannot change what happened and neither can you, understood? Either we accept this or live the rest of our lives with an unbearable weight on our souls and in endless agony,” their fathers´ hands were curled into such tight fists that his knuckles had turned white.

After that Maglor didn´t dare to say another word and the others did not feel like talking either so the remainder of the meal was spent in silence. 

Celebrimbor was the first one to wish them all a good night and leave. Fëanor followed soon after, saying that he needed to be planning their route. 

Once the three brothers were alone Celegorm broke the pressing silence. “Macalaurë,” the musician kept staring at his plate,” Atar is right, you know. But I am aware that this is not easy. You have never taken a life before and you are in no way a warrior.”

“Right and I think you should be allowed some time to work through this. Take as long as you need. I will talk to father and make him understand,” Curufin continued.

Maglor thanked them but he felt even worse after that. His younger brothers should not be the ones caring for him, it was supposed to be the other way around. Valar, he was so useless without Maedhros…  
“I am going to bed as well. I really appreciate how understanding you are,” the musician forced a somewhat genuine smile onto his face,” sleep well you two.”

As soon as the door has fallen shut behind their brother Celegorm reached for their fathers´ glass and drowned the remaining wine in one go.

“Alcohol is a much worse way of coping than sex,” Curufin remarked though he did not seem too bothered by his brothers´ actions.

Celegorm wiped his mouth, shrugging:” As if I was going to get drunk that easily. I just didn´t want the good wine to go to waste, after all we don´t know when we will have luxuries like this again.”

“Well thank you for reminding me of that after you drank all of it.”

The hunter laughed:” No need to be upset little brother, here, I´ll let you taste it.” He went in for a slow open-mouthed kiss which Curufin accepted happily. 

But then he remembered his worries from earlier and pulled away, too soon for Celegorm´s liking who tried to pull him closer for a second kiss. 

“It is a terribly stupid idea to do this here,” Curufin said firmly while holding his brother at a distance.

However Celegorm had far less reasons to care if they were found out or not and replied that all the others had gone to sleep and nobody would come looking for them at such an hour anyway.

“No,” the other got up and pulled him along,” we should go to our rooms. Mine is only down this hallway so it´s not far.”

“Well it´s still too far,” Celegorm complained already sneaking his hands under his brothers´ clothing. 

Curufin firmly pushed the impatient hands away. “I do not want to end up against a wall with your hands down my breeches.”

“And yet it was you who did the same to me earlier,” Celegorm reminded him but obediently let himself be lead to the others´ room.

As soon as they reached the cabin Curufin kicked the door open; ready to devour his brother then and there.

“Atar?”

Panic shot through the blacksmiths´ veins like ice when he heard his sons’ voice. Instantly he let go of Celegorm´s already half pulled off shirt.

“Tyelperinquar! What have I told you about respecting ones privacy,” the elf knew he shouldn´t shout but he was desperately trying to cover up his fear.

Celebrimbor hung his head and murmured:” Apologies…I couldn´t sleep,” then his gaze fell onto Celegorm,” what are you doing here uncle?”

The hunter hastily tried to come up with a believable lie but all that he came up with was:” I had to ask your father something.”

“And to do that he had to remove your tunic?”

This bold question came so out of the blue that both brothers just stared at him for a moment.

It was Celegorm who recovered faster from the initial shock but again his reply was not helping the situation. “He saw a stain on it and wanted to give me one of his clean ones instead.”

Abruptly Celebrimbor stood up from the bed, raising an eyebrow. “You might think I am too young to see what´s right before my eyes but you two are underestimating me. I know about this twisted thing you share.” He looked at his father tears brimming in his eyes. “This is the true reason mother didn´t come with us, isn´t it? You should have told me that there was another! The whole time I thought that somehow your separation was my fault…”

Curufin was positive that his heart had just been ripped in two and he reached out to hold his son, to offer him comfort. But before he was able to touch him Celebrimbor had slipped past him and rushed out of the room.

“Don´t worry I´ll talk to him. You did nothing wrong.” Celegorm kissed his devastated brothers´ forehead then went to follow his nephew.

 

He found Celebrimbor on the storage deck hidden behind a couple of huge wooden chests. Carefully Celegorm approached him. 

The young elf looked at him with a face to furious he suddenly looked like Fëanor himself, but the hunter did not let scare him away. This turned out to be the right decision because in a blink Celebrimbor´s mask crumbled and revealed his agony.

“Hey little one,” Celegorm slowly sat down beside him,” I know that everything seems pretty awful right now but will you listen to me for just a moment?” Celebrimbor shrugged which Celegorm decided was good enough for him and continued:” Your father has his reasons not to tell you anything. You two don´t have the best relationship, do you?”

“That’s true but-.” 

The hunter interrupted him:” He knows that too, you know? However he is desperately trying to fix that which is the reason why he did not want you to find out. Not only is our love considered wrong amongst our people, it also means that he has been cheating on his wife, your mother.”

“I thought my parents loved each other,” Celebrimbor mumbled unwilling to accept the harsh truth.

Celegorm put a hand on his shoulder but instead of comforting the gesture turned out completely awkward. He pulled his hand away and decided to get simply get this over with. “No, they don´t,” he didn´t look at his nephew since he knew that seeing his sadness would break his own heart,” Curvo and I had feelings long before his marriage and they never vanished.”

Tears swam in Celebrimbor´s eyes and his voice sounded choked:” Then why did he marry and have a child?!”

Celegorm carefully ran his thumb over the others´ cheek, catching the first tear and wiping it away; he felt so terribly guilty. “Curvo tried to end what was between us. He tried being the perfect prince that everyone thought he was. He tried to make father proud. But he, no, we were too weak. I am sorry Tyelpe. I never wanted this to hurt you and if there is anything I can do to ease your pain…”

“Yes you can,” Celebrimbor said much too quickly.

At first the hunter was taken aback but he nodded, waiting to hear what it was.

“I don´t know how to put this,” suddenly the younger elf seemed nervous. However then he was struck by a new wave of determination.

Celegorm felt as if he had just been struck by lightning when he found Celebrimbor´s lips on his.

“What are you doing?!”

His nephew´s eyes were huge and his face torn in fear and sadness. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

“I…I know how confusing all this must be. You know with the fighting, your father being in a relationship with his own brother and leaving for a foreign land…but this is not it. You do not have feelings for me.” Celegorm stood up so fast he knocked over a sack of grain. “I am not ruining another person’s life. This is not what you want, understood?”

It was only then that Celebrimbor realised how stupid this attempt had been. Of course his uncle would not leave Curufin for someone like him. And Celegorm would never allow him to be hurt by getting into such a twisted relationship.

He took a hold of his uncle´s arm in a hopeless try to save the situation. “Wait, you are right…I should feel sorry. It´s just that I had a long day and I felt so alone. You are the only one I can really trust…”

Without saying a word Celegorm hugged him and Celebrimbor could have cried in relief.

After a while the younger elf mumbled,” Thank you uncle,” and left.

Celegorm watched him leave and knew that the Valar must be despising him even more than the rest of this family. Not only was he cursed with loving his younger brother, no he was also the one to break his sweet sweet nephew´s heart.


End file.
